Welcome back, my friends to the week that never ends…okay, Week 15 of the NFL Season will end, but I cannot lie and say I wish it wouldn’t. After all, after this week, the New York Jets will have a three game losing streak, a quarterback who needs to get benched, and a head coach who needs to be replaced. Maybe I am just a very cynical fan. Maybe I remember 1986, where the Jets started 10-1, only to lose the next five games and back into the playoffs. Or perhaps it was the magical Favre year of 2008 when they were 8-3 when the Super Bowl talk commenced. Favre, instead of redeeming his costly interceptions in the previous season and the following season’s NFC Championship Games. Instead, the Jets went 1-4 and finished third behind the Miami Wildcats and the Brady-less Patriots.
So…
Take the STEELERS over the JETS, and don’t look back at the wreckage of the J-E-T-S’ crash-landing.
CHARGERS will beat the 49ERS. Actually, I am writing this about two hours after the game ended. It was quite an obvious pick, however, especially considering they brought out their powder blue uniforms.
I like INDIANAPOLIS over the JAGUARS, but only because they are the home team. Jacksonville won Week 4 at home, though I’m not certain anybody in northern Florida saw it. Peyton Manning might have a terrible cast around him, and he might be having the worst season of his career, but he is still Peyton Manning, and David Garrard isn’t.
TEXANS will defeat the TITANS, now with their season’s great aspirations of their first career playoff appearance destroyed under the weight of either their expectations or Gary Kubiak’s self-doubt.
The DOLPHINS are making an incredible push towards the playoffs, even with their non-existent offense led by a non-existent quarterback, and will continue to do so when they beat the BILLS Sunday. Seriously, are we sure Chad Henne isn’t actually Jay Fiedler in disguise?
The RAMS will win at home against the cross-state showdown with the CHIEFS. The Show-Me State is an appropriate host for a rivalry pitting the two West division leaders, both desperate for respect and for the self-confidence to close out their losable divisions. I like Sam Bradford shining against this defense. The Chiefs won’t be playing against St. Louis, they’re playing against the shadow of the surging Chargers, who are quite experienced chasing down the AFC West.
BROWNS and BENGALS both suck, but the Browns will win. Why? Does it matter?
The SAINTS will crush the hearts and spirits of the RAVENS and their fans one more time this season. As I said last week, I like Joe Flacco, and I like the Ravens a lot. But as my friend/co-worker Danny said the other day, “They should be better.” They should, they shouldn’t squeak out wins, they shouldn’t blow leads in the end; they shouldn’t have so many “respectable” losses. The Ravens have become the NFL’s version of S.D. Jones from the old WWF.
S.D. Jones was the most-popular wrestling jobber ever. He lost to everybody in the late 1980’s, all the top heels anyway. When there was a new bad guy on the prowl, like when King Kong Bundy arrived on the scene, or when “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff was challenging for the title against the Immortal Hulk Hogan, S.D. Jones was there to make them look good. S.D. always contended for the win, like the Ravens, and just like the Ravens, he was well-liked and well-respected for his fire and his toughness and his perseverance. Just like I would never pick S.D. Jones against Andre the Giant, I cannot pick Baltimore over the defending champions.
The GIANTS will beat the EAGLES. Michael Vick ran through the Eagles during their first encounter, and he very well might be the same. However, the Giants are at home, have been looking good, and are thinking Super Bowl. Couple all that in, I think the Giants win this game, and then lose their final two, while the Eagles win their final two and the Eagles take the division. Michael Vick is too good, and he should get serious MVP consideration, though Mr. Bundchen will win the award, deservedly so.
Are the COWBOYS going to be any good next season? (If there is a season in 2011.) I know they are playing much better since Jason Garrett has taken control of the team, though they suffered tough losses against tough opponents. Perhaps the Cowboys have become the new-school Brooklyn Dodgers, the bums who were always next-year’s champs. Still, they are much better than the dysfunctional WASHINGTON SENATORS (REDSKINS.)
Does anybody doubt the BUCCANEERS are the best worst team in the league? They are 8-0 against sub-.500 teams and they are 0-5 against those with winning records, expect that streak to continue as the LIONS come into town for another loss on the road. Detroit hasn’t been good on the road since Bob Seger.
The PANTHERS are a bad team with many, many problems. First off, ditch the bright-blue uniforms. They are a shade brighter than the famous Chargers powder blue, and nowhere near as classy. And what of that logo, why does that Panther have muscular dystrophy? They will beat the CARDINALS at home, however owing to the fact nobody could pick the Cardinals starting quarterback out at a bus stop in downtown Phoenix while he was wearing a football uniform, ironically the same way Ken Whisenhut picked him. I care so little of this game, I won’t even mention the guys’ name.
The RAIDERS are hanging on by a thread, but if the Chiefs lose, then they would only be one game behind the Chargers, who they beat twice, and the Chiefs, who’ve they already beaten and travel to play Week 17. They are playing for their lives against a BRONCOS team playing for a paycheck. I think they respond; they play well at home. The Raiders will win out, I predict.
FALCONS fans, be warned. A cross-country trip to Seattle is a losable game, especially with the SEAHAWKS clinging to playoff life. If you are as good a teams as people, including myself, think you are, then you must win this game. They are that good, they will win the division, crushing Roger Goodell’s fading hopes somehow the Rams or the Seahawks will miraculously win nine games, thus avoiding having to deal with the playoff reseeding debate. I wouldn’t put it past him and attempt a David Stern on us. (You know what I’m talking about.)
With it being College Week in the NFC North, what with former BCS Champion quarterback Matt Flynn starting against the PATRIOTS for the PACKERS, the Monday night game at the University of Minnesota’s home stadium, and the Lions’ being the NFL’s version of the paycheck-seeking cupcake school going into Camp Randall or the Big House in order to get rolled, I think it is only fitting I should teach our faithful readers one thing:
Don’t bet against the Patriots at home against a weakened opponent looking to find credibility. Tom Bundchen is terrific, Bill Belichick is a douchebag, but he’s a great coach and they are on a mission to win and win convincingly. And they will continue to do so.
Thank you for your time.
DA BEARS will win Monday night against the VIKINGS. Why? Because after taking it on the chin in terrible weather against the Patriots on their own field, they will have a much better game plan when it comes to playing on the ice rink on the University of Minnesota campus.
And what of the Vikings, where will they play next season? The architects who designed the Metrodome (I became aware earlier today that the stadium is no longer named the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. I sank my head and cried, and vowed to never call it what it is actually called, no matter how much money Mall of America paid.) Is it possible they up and move to another city “temporarily?” Will they be able to finagle a new stadium out of the great state of Minnesota? This will be the best off-season story of the year to watch, I guarantee it.
Last week: 11-5
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