Recently, a huge hullabaloo has hit England. No, I am not talking about the massive protests and riots amongst the agitated classes which has burned, maimed and destroyed millions of pounds of the once-sterling island. I’m not even referring to the crumbling of the European Union and the financial tsunami currently rumbling through the English Channel (and soon to flow across the Atlantic—again.) Hell, I’m not even talking about the freshest gossip concerning Princess Kate.
Of course, I am talking about sports, specifically relegation.
What??
In America, in the baseball world, players move up and down a system of minor league affiliates based on the whims and motivations of the Major League teams they are contracted to, as the players, owners, and management fight for their own personal glory, financial gain, and their place in the record books. In baseball, it is you against the system; every player must fight for their place, even with their teammates. Major League teams will stay Major no matter what; there is no chance the Toledo Mud Hens or the Columbus Clippers will attain World Series glory. The only guarantee is that greed, no matter how ideal the system is, will only corrupt the system. (See: steroids. See also: $7 beers.) European soccer is far more socialized than American rugged individualistic sports society, but so is their society, at-large.
Relegation and promotion are two amazing features in English soccer (football, as I call it, soccer.) The English Premier League the top-flight soccer league in England, if not all of the world, consists of twenty teams. At the end of the season, the bottom three teams are relegated (demoted) to the second-tier league, and the top three from the Championship League (the aforementioned second-tier) are promoted. This promotion occurs between every level of professional soccer in England, giving even the last place Plymouth Argyle FC of League Two a legitimate dream of one day winning the Champions League. The clubs work together to attain a goal, even if it takes years. In theory, working together pays dividends. However, the only guarantee is that greed, no matter how ideal the system is, will only corrupt the system. (See: £80m transfer fees and 920% price inflation.)
The relegation system, in place for generations, is an integral part of the soccer landscape, which is an integral part of English society. So, of course, relegation is under attack from American and other foreign-based owners of English soccer clubs, desperate to avoid being relegated, and thus have their product devalued. There is a huge outcry against such talk in England, but considering their societal and historical weakness (not to mention their paranoia) against foreign invasion (World War II excluded because they never were actually invaded. Bombed to shit? Yes. Invaded? No,) they will eventually cave-in, at least until they stop allowing foreigners to buy their nation right from under them. And it is a pity, because I think relegation should be brought over to the American sports—right away.
Think about it, it could solve the NBA’s lockout overnight. If you broke up the league into two flights, between the playoff teams and non-playoff teams from last season, you’d have one super-competitive league of the best markets in the game: Chicago, Miami, Boston, New York, Philadelphia, Los Angeles (the good one), Dallas, and even Oklahoma City all playing to sold-out arenas. The quality of the games would be immense, every night would be must-see television. Granted, some of those teams would have bad records (being the worst of the best means they never would win the title anyway, but at least they’d have the Lakers and Celtics come to town.)
The Golden States and the Clevelands of the world would be playing against each other, creating more competitive games, generating more and more interest in the sport. Vying against each other, the bottom fourteen in two conferences of seven would compete for their conference championships, the winner getting promoted. The bottom team in each conference of the top-tier NBA would be demoted. Imagine, for a moment, if Memphis, last season’s number eight seed in the West, would have been demoted. On a mission to redeem themselves, they’d tear through the NBA Championship League in order to regain their status amongst the NBA Premier League Teams.
Wholesale societal changes in sports might sound extreme now; abolishing the status quo is tough for many people, especially with institutions we hold dear, and how many men hold sports teams tighter than their family? Thousands? Millions?
Why stop at sports? Why not health care? What about in finance? Or government?
Or, maybe, Americans can stop intervening in the domestic affairs of other nations.
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